I’ve arrived at a place I’m not completely comfortable with.

I like watching home renovation shows in fuzzy slippers.

I have said, “Here’s how I feel when you say things like that.”

I own more pastel colors than a man should.

I needed a manly reboot.

So when my Dad called and said let's do a motorbike ride to points unknown, I could feel my testosterone amp up.

Before heading out I would need a few supplies. Jeans. Check. Leather jacket. Check. Manly boots. Check. Scowl. Check.

Photo Credit: KelownaNow, Rick Maddison

Now for the steed. A 2016 Victory Cross Country Tour courtesy of M&M Performance. Storage capacity to fit stuff you need and stuff you don’t, but you pack anyway because as a man you fill every available cranny because “You just never know if someone will need an extra beach towel.” Hit a water buffalo at high speed and all of sudden you look like a hero because you got the beach towel ready to rock. Always thinking….

Heated handgrips and heated seat. Not really manly but oh so freakin’ luxurious when your riding over the Rogers Pass. When people pass you they look over and give you the thumbs up to make sure you're ok and to see what kind of buffoon didn’t check the road report before leaving the house.

The stereo. I have a lovely daughter named Tess and yes, I’m one of those dads who gives her a playlist on my phone. I explain this because in my pursuit of manliness, to have One Direction or Justin Bieber start belting out a ballad on such a manly motorbike it felt, well, awkward.

Yes, the bike handles divinely, and the seat doesn’t need a sheepskin because it’s so comfy. But the real cool factor for this journalist was the street rep you instantly get when you huck a leg over.

Case in point. I was traveling between Banff and Calgary and as it always happens two cars are driving alongside each other on a divided highway. GRR. I pulled in the clutch and gave the throttle a couple barks and miraculously the Honda Accord hammered the gas and went to the slow lane like he had been branded by a hot cattle prod.

Is that a jerk move? Yes. In my pursuit of manliness sometimes someone is going to get a full blast of exhaust notes to alert them I am indeed on a pursuit and they must make haste to the slow lane and not drive right next to another car, which is a donkey move on any stretch of road.

Holy moly. You can pass four cars at a time as the Victory has more than enough power. My father does not drive the same speeds as I do because he doesn’t get the same thrill as I do, and in fact, my father will drive 10 Kilometers BELOW the speed limit. At one point I asked my father if he brought any extra candy.

He said he didn’t, and wondered why I was asking.

I replied: "Because by driving that slow, I thought for sure I was in a parade and wanted the kids to get something in return for watching the procession."

He was a good sport about it and let me drive ahead to the next stop and wait for him.  For me, if I’m driving with slower riders I will actually start getting sleepy and then I think I’m more of a danger than if I am driving in a “Spirited manner.” Am I lying to myself? Perhaps, but it’s my manly pursuit so PFFFT.

Back to the ride.

I met up with my Dad in Lethbridge, AB where the Kingsmen Ale House was having a grand opening, and oh boy, they have over 48 beers on tap. Manly. Rich leather and ornate tables gave the pub a look where you would be hard pressed to show up in “Jorts,” and feel very good about it (Jean shorts).

Photo Credit: Rick Maddison

We drained a pint, had some sticky pudding, and decided on Waterton, AB as our next stop.

Again, not checking the weather because we are men, and men don’t needlessly check instructions or for potential windstorms that will pull on your helmet so hard you end up choking a bit.

That was us heading to Waterton National Park. Maniacal wind storms but the coverage on the Victory allows me to sit behind the big windscreen and stay out of the wind and rain. By the way, this setup doesn’t buffet the wind. You can drive at 140 km and not have the ash on your ciggy go out. I didn’t try that, but so I’ve been told.

When we arrived in Waterton, we saw trees had been uprooted and smashed into parked cars. Nasty stuff but if you’ve ever lived in Lethbridge or Southern Alberta, a wind storm is part of the landscape and as one local put it: “Keeps the bugs away.” That’s putting a good spin on a very exhausting and tiring phenomenon.

Photo Credit: KelownaNow, Rick Maddison

We stayed in Waterton and rented those crazy four-wheeled bikes. Here’s the thing about those bikes. If you hit your target heart rate watching Discovery Channel on TV, you have no business renting those things because they are HEAVY. Good thing Waterton is so small or my co-pilot would have keeled over from exhaustion.

We then hit Cranbrook and saw “Central Intelligence” with Kevin Hart and the Rock. Manly.

OK, childish at times, but isn’t part of being a man enjoying lewd humor and making fun of fanny packs?

You're damn right it is.

Onto Radium Hot Springs, and no, we didn’t go to the Hot Springs. Something about 1,000 people having a bath at the same time doesn’t appeal to me. Not manly, but as you get older you realize soaking your naughty bits in bathwater doesn’t appeal to you, and no, you're just not gonna do it even if your half a block away. Not really manly, so maybe scratch from the list.

I then said goodbye to my father, who is a manly man in himself. 73 years young and still rocking the highways, I was a bit sad as I like hanging out with the guy, and hey, for someone dating a woman much younger than himself, he’s the walking, talking essence of virility.

The 2016 Victory Cross Country Tour was certainly a steed worthy of the trip.

Did I achieve my pursuit by the end? I think so. I’m not really a good judge, although I suspect a driver of a Honda Accord thought a whole bunch of testosterone was coming up on him all angry and such. If he only knew I was just humming “Let it Go,” from the Frozen soundtrack the whole time.

**WARNING** The following video may contain inappropriate language. Viewer discretion is advised.