Have you ever heard of people who public speak using the trick of visualizing the crowd in their underwear and it takes the pressure off? Like somehow that using the imagery of the exposed people as comedic relief will make you feel less nervous or more confident about what you’re talking about.

I don’t know about you but this would just make matters more overwhelming and would just be a reflection of me feeling exposed while I spoke. Isn’t that how life is though? We go through our days wondering if people like us and will do anything to make ourselves feel safe and not exposed.

This might not be a conscious way of thinking and in most cases, humans are running unconscious programming that keeps them cozy in their own personal bubble.

Photo credit: Darren Hull

If we look at the speaking example, the only reason why you’d be nervous, anxious or overwhelmed in front of a group of peers or even strangers is that you’re worried about them not liking you or not accepting you for what you’re dishing out. Ie: rejection.

I remember this back when I first started teaching group fitness and then again when I first started teaching yoga to a big crew of people, I was so concerned about doing a good job so they would like the class and really, so they would like me.

I have come a long way to not be caught up with people liking me in my work & in my life and that feels good! This column is really just a way for me to shine a light on the dark places of your life.

Reading new perspectives is one of the many tools we have available to us to see behind the vail of our ways of being. Yoga, meditation, exercise and nature are also there for us to take another look.  

Photo credit: Clayton Boyd

When you really get it and understand that most of you are worried about looking bad and doing anything you can to look good if you were the person thrown up on stage, you’ll see that you’re like that everywhere in your life.

You’re worried to ruffle feathers and speak up for fear of confrontation or be dismissed or disagreed with. I don’t have this all figured out, that’s for sure.

But what I am sure about is that discovering what you’re all about, what you believe in + finding your voice is most definitely a process of removing all of the beliefs about yourself that you’ve collected over your lifetime that keep you stuck worrying about being exposed.

I’m a digger. I love to dig into why I am the way I am in certain situations and different in others. I love looking at myself and my life as a canvas that I get to colour on + create on purpose rather than default.

Photo credit: Darren Hull

This can be super challenging at times when the experiences I’ve had have shaped some of my default patterns + behaviours into just that, default. I invite you to be a digger too. Let these words be a reminder that you can start again.

You can come back to the beginning of who you are when life got it’s hands on you. You can put yourself out on a limb and be exposed and know that nobody can take your power from you. You can be fully expressed and that there is nothing wrong with or broken about you.

You’re whole exactly as you are. If I can offer you one piece of advice, its this: keep exposing yourself and stepping out into discomfort to really find yourself. 

a big smile + hug to you,

xx